I am a Tutter.

Lately, I’ve been focussing on taking a chill pill. I have become one of those people who get overly frustrated by dawdlers. I end up going to a dark place when walking behind those that should be in, what I would call, the slow-lane of life. I’ve often thought that if I were to become PM, I would enforce a ‘fast lane’/ ‘slow lane’ system.

I’m honestly a good person, like 99% of the time. But there is nothing that fills me with more rage than when somebody starts walking slowly in front of me.

Just to clarify- I don’t get wound up by people who genuinely can’t help that they walk slowly… I’m not a monster. It’s just that there are inconsiderate people who turn me into a tutting ball of rage.

I wondered whether I was the only one that felt this way and found a pretty funny theory from someone else online:

“The secret is to do nothing. Do not adjust your speed. Continue at a constant rate. If collisions occur, then the slow walkers must accept their fate. Like a rock in a river, they will be swept up in the current. . . or be eroded to sand in the riverbed.”

I mean- what?! I’m part nodding with agreement, and giggling with guilt that I know I’m just a speed walker at heart.

Speed walking is one of those things I wish I could put on a CV, it’s a skill of mine. There is a 6 year age gap between my sister and I, so walking to school meant holding onto the buggy. Aka, running alongside the super fast speed-walk of a rushing Mother.

Anyway, this tutting rage that slow walkers force upon us speed walkers. This rage is multiplied when in crowds. There is nothing worse than being in a rush and stuck in a crowd at the same time. Granted, other people need to get places too… but move out the way. If you’re really feeling the rage/ seeing red, you do the totally melodramatic huff as you barge past them. Just in case the tutting wasn’t picked up. Maybe even chuck in a dirty look if they’ve managed to push all your buttons.

But deep down, you know you’ve been a slow walker, a dawdler or just a tourist in your life too. But that’s totally different, because when I dawdle and people barge and tut at me- they just need to chill out, oh my gosh.

Are you a speed walker or a dawdler?

One Comment

  1. awkward brown guy

    I’m a dawdler in most of my life except when it comes to walking. I think it’s because my Dad and Mum walk fast, and I used to have to almost run to keep up with Dad when I was younger. Then, I worked in the city, and everyone is always rushing around!

    Like

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